Famous, er, what's my name again?

Today I met this <---guy.


He’s on my Board of Directors. However, he is no longer Famous Amos ®™ because his fame now belongs to Kellogg Co.

Outside of his new, unfamous cookie store, I argued with the former first lady of Hawaii and my coworker over who should have to lei the cookie maverick.

everywhere I go it rains on me

On a professional note, I keep running across really cool internships. For instance, today I spent most of my work time on scholastic.com. (Work related! I Swear!) When I was a college junior or senior, had I known…

…I’m so OLD.

P.S. Yesterday I was called Ma’am. Twice. AND. I wasn’t carded while buying beer.

some of my dream jobs

illustrator of children’s or comic books (see David Shrigley, Delphine Perret);
writer (TO BE PUBLISHED!!);
architect*;
judge*;
forest ranger;
tour guide;
executive director of a non-profit*;
create my own hip stationary company like knockknock.biz*;
graphic designer*;
film or food critic;
event planner.

*would require me to return to school for at least 2-4 more years.

For today, 110.

Remember If You Give a Moose a Muffin? That author now has:

If You Give a ______ a _______.
Insert: Mouse, Pig; Cookie, Pancake.

Additionally:

If You Take a Mouse to _______.
Insert: the Movies, School.

I’ve spent a few work days reading the adventures of these diabetic, passive-aggressive mammals. (Insight: the books could be avoided by injecting animal abuse and salad).

I’ll make my fortune by ripping off this series. Instead of binge-eating rodents, my books will feature self-esteem boosters for teenage girls. Proposed titles:

If You Give a/n ______ a ______.
Insert: Anorexic, Bulimic; Cookie, Muffin.

If You Take a Nerd to ______.
Insert: Prom, the Movies, etc.

They turned the water off

Today:

I’m not very dedicated to my plan: crank out 55 words every day. I was not supposed to write 110 words every two days. If so, I would’ve titled this little journal 110. As an aside: I don’t have running water or enough room in this post to launch into a stream of consciousness explanation.

Yesterday:

Dear James Spader,

I loved you in Secretary but I was a bit apprehensive about your feathered mullet in Sex, Lies and Videotape. However, in that final scene where Andie MacDowell runs her fingers through your hair and you close your eyes like just like so…

…I think I love you, James Spader.

<3 Leanne

slacker

Today:
Lately I’ve found myself between bus transfers. The 6 to the 4 to the B to the 13. After a while this all begins to sound like high school’s differential equations. You know, those ridiculous test questions we assumed would have no place in reality. But then arrives the existential equation: what is my reality?

Yesterday:
Even two glasses of free champagne could not make the quilted purses look buyable. Each bag was created out of some messy, bold pattern, and screamed like it was being attacked by our retinas (or visa versa). But the champagne was free, so I kept my wallet shut, and chatted with the former Hawaii governor.

Amendments

Today I ran up some hills MOUNTAINS. And discovered the Exorcist* stairs. As I descended, I debated an ascent. That was until I witnessed this bro-dude extraordinaire first bike up massive hill uno and then proceed to cradle his bicycle for a slick, stair-master trot. (Note: I tried to minimize my heavy breathing PANTING)

*See: adjective for torture DEATH.

A 55 word list to accompany this photo:

Humidity, mud, leaves, laces, nylon, elastic, TJ Maxx men’s section, calves, knee caps, rocks, new, Asics, Dad, gift, thank you:

Endurance, back sweat, man sweat, butterfly sweat, Mom, walking, talking, Bear Bear, Swee, Fat Lard, Michelle, Big John

Exploration, hiking, slippery, bacteria, bamboo, artistic, photography, running, erosion, morning, nature, To Do List item number 5.

words, language, writing, dialogue, etc.

Here, they call trash “rubbish.” My landlord left an informative note on “rubbish disposal.” I automatically associate rubbish with Merriam Webster’s definition 2:

something that is worthless or nonsensical-

example: Few real masterpieces are forgotten and not much rubbish survives.

Initial response: rubbish is crap, not trash—you know—the stuff in the rubbish can.